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to Music Control

MoonCat's Astrology Presents

HOROSCOPES

Mental Meowscopes and Other Astrological Silliness

 

Same old Thing... different month!

MoonCat's Never-Changing Mental MeowScopes

 

More MoonCat Funnies....

 

An Irreverent Look at the Zodiac" or

TERRIBLE thoughts about your Sign

 

click here Follow the Signs - a Celestial Flowchart

 

play BLAME the PLANETS

 

Shooter Dog - for the Yorky in all of us

 

 

check out Ophira's site!

Star Wars Horoscope

 

 

H2G2 - totally bashes Astrology, but funny

 

 

AstroJokes

 

 

Horoscope Blender

for some reason this doesn't work today... cool idea tho!

 

MoonCat's Mental Meow-o-Scopes

Your Sun-Sign Fate For every Month....

sometimes I might change it - (a bit!)

 

^ _ ` a b c  d e f g h i

 

 

ARIES

Listen Bud - we've had about enough of you. That's all the universe has to say right now...

 

 

TAURUS

You will suddenly have loads of money, but nobody care what you want or even understand you when you speak. Your demands are ridiculous, face it. All your fast-food orders will be wrong. You will starve.

 

 

GEMINI

The tables have turned on you this month once again. You don't know who to believe, because everyone lies to you - why!!?? You need more socks and underwear. Get a better job.

 

 

CANCER

Nobody cares how you feel this month. You are WAY too whiny and pitiful.... People think you're nuts. You are. Get a grip. Go have a good cry. Talk to small children and you will feel big again.

 

 

LEO

Leos will get pushed around by Aries and - believe it or not - Sagis this month. You are definitely not King, or even Prince or Knight. You are a lowly Page. Hop to it!!!

 

 

VIRGO

Everything will go beautifully this month. You'll get everything done, just right, in record time. You will receive a raise. The people you work for will have tremendous, sudden success..... but the following month they'll go broke because you missed ONE tiny detail ! Better start worrying - big time.

 

LIBRA

You will be seriously outcharmed by Geminis this month. You can't understand it. Nobody likes your style anymore. Your love life will go south, fast. You'll shop til you drop but your credit cards will be rejected. Get a job, slacker!

 

 

SCORPIO

Poor Scorpio - you will get really mad for no reason this month, lose a friend or two, then carefully plot how to coerce them back into your life. It's too late.

 

 

SAGITTARIUS

You're a bit full of it this month, Sagi. Go tell your ridiculous stories somewhere else! Nobody wants to know the crappola you know!!

 

CAPRICORN

Because of your prior achievements, goat boy or girl, others expect you to do their work for them. You will become exhausted trying to prove your worth. You are nothing but a corporate slave!! hahahahahaha

 

 

AQUARIUS

Your insane antics have been copied the world over. Everyone knows how utterly whacko you are. Sadly, you will become depressed because nobody even notices you anymore. Rats...

 

 

PISCES

Silly Fish, why must you sleep so much?! You MUST wake up or you'll miss some excellent programming on TV. I mean it!!

 

 

 

 

 

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MoonCat copyright 1995

by Danielle A Ricard, all rights reserved

MoonCat's Astrology,com established 1999